Friday, December 4, 2009
There was always this mean bitch sleeping right within me. And I knew it too. Guess I never wanted it to come out, which is good. And over the years I learnt just how to control it and make it dormant, make it sleep within myself never to come out ever. It was difficult, because I had all the qualities they say a girl should never have. I was short-tempered(highly), impatient(to the max), could lie in the blink of an eye with not so much as a feeling of remorse, and could imagine and wish for the worst things to happen to anyone who crossed my line. But over the years, with the help of the Only One who comes forward when you need Him the most, no matter how much you have turned Him out of your life and hurt Him, I developed this mask of being the sweet girl that people started loving to be with. I learnt to be calm, composed, never flaring up, except if with my parents or brother. And that was alright, because they are family, and they are the only ones who stay for you till the end of time. So here I was this sweet li'l girl every person was talking about until one fine day it just blew up. I turned back to be the bitchy girl, shouting at people losing my control over all the small stuff that normally leaves me untouched. And what created this change? What made me lose my screws? May be the ones who stay with me would know better. I just learnt that the people surrounding you to have a large influence on how you turn out. Because now I can see myself use words I used to shun away from. That's why they say company matters. Even when you're old with broken teeth, company does matter.