Sunday, March 17, 2013

Why??

Bcos it was deemed to be this way. Bcos you showed me that life's not fair. Bcos you tried to make me who I was not. Bcos I wasn't strong enough to rebel too loud. Bcos there are words that are shouting to be heard. Bcos your backs towards me are turned. Bcos my pillow sees unshed tears; it quietly softens to soothe my fears. Bcos I tried to express myself, just to be alluded to devil's own self. Bcos heart and mind fight an epic battle, either wins or loses, the hurt's still mine. Bcos I found an easy way out, to make me smile through clouds and drought.
Bcos I've got this feeling of having sacrificed too much. Bcos I feel I've lived your life all my life. Bcos I think I'm letting go of all my dreams of tomorrow, for the one reason that your yesterday was mine. Bcos I could let go and live in limbo. Bcos I could live my way and live in inferno. Bcos so long I always had a chance. Bcos the tag forever was never attached to my choice.
Bcos I suddenly fear you don't really care. Bcos I started doubting my own reasons in despair. Bcos it pushes me to overstep the border. Bcos it makes me want to do things I felt taboo. Bcos the mind is sadly way too complex, the way it twists n turns even rivers give in. Bcos I need to know to let go, to close my eyes say a prayer and trust in the one above.
Bcos all said I need that physical touch. Bcos I need to experience more than just imagine. Bcos deep down inside I'm just a little girl confused and scared and not ready to express.. for fear of hurting the ones who care, of being a trouble to those who love.
Bcos as you see it's all about me, the I, the mine, not you, they or we.