Saturday, September 3, 2011

All you need is a dewdrop

Just 24, travelled around the world, earning as much as dad's retirement, confident, outspoken.. It more or less summed up what would have been a successful persona, just that it came too early in life. And in the same manner as 2-minute maggi satisfying your appetite for that moment but never quite being chinese, lightning struck me too and in the most complicated way. I dint know what the issue was!
Its easy when u see your problem, better to handle when you know what aches, but what when something's bothering you and you really don't know what it is? When you wake up daily knowing you're the luckiest on the planet and still not able to smile. When u party hard all night just to forget something, and you don exactly know what, and no.. You've not forgotten it! Other like-minded, similar experiencing friends of yours finally gave it a name. They called it 'Quarter life Crisis'. Easier now, you at least know what it is.
And it was at the prime of this stage, when life was long gone dead that someone dropped down from the place many called paradise! He was just a guy I might see as I cross the road daily with not much as a glance straight-faced, upto the point, seemingly serious. But as I got down to doing the same menial job all over again, I found him change it all. From as simple as the way I work, to the way I think, he made me fall in love with everything around me, again. Now when I woke up I had a smile that previously was never there, I stopped pausing near the office entrance wondering whether to enter, I changed my wardrobe and did a makeover, I started walking with that joyful skip again! And amidst all of this QLC disappeared, as suddenly as it had come. When, where, how, well I really was not concerned. Because.something which I had tried with all the knowledge I could garner on positove energies was done without a sound. And with that cloud out of my sky I was able to see what was till now hidden. I knew what I wanted to do. I got a direction.
Weeks later when I was asked how it all happened, I dint have an answer. I really don't know what he did. Maybe he was a catalyst to make me feel good about myself, to show me how to love my work, to bring me out of the loneliness I was feeling in that place till then. He was my dewdrop, just there for those few moments in the early hours of a long day, but to give me the hope that its gonna be a beautiful day ahead.

Monday, April 18, 2011

Breaking Free

I want to break free,

From bonds that held me tight

From the feelings that refused to let go

From the thoughts that made me stop.

I wanted to make my own choices,

Choose my own path, carve a niche for myself

While people loved to pull me towards their wishes,

Forcing me to dream their dreams.

It’s all so easy to be bogged down,

To give up and say goodbye,

To all things dear to you, to all things you care.

Your aspirations, your goals, everything which makes you YOU.

Ever since I started to dream,

Ever since I tried to fly,

I only found boundaries and limits, rules and curfews,

Someone to stop me, hold me back against my dreams.

Life seemed all so simple before,

When I never knew what I wanted,

When I felt content with every bead in my string,

When I never asked “Why not?”

And that’s where it all started,

A simple question, a small doubt,

A growing argument, a never ending fight,

A terrible silence, with people who loved me the most.

I want to dance till my legs ache,

Sing till my throat sores,

I just want to laugh loud, only wanted to cry,

From the bottom of my heart.

I want to see the rising sun, feel the first rain,

I want to live the way I wish to,

I want to fly away, break free, just be myself,

For that simple moment called Life.

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Dangerous 'Hi'

A simple word, an innocent smile, a careless brush, a sudden look. All that is needed to start a relationship, any for that matter, is just a simple beginning. And as you tread deeper down, the way it evolved ends up being a mystery.
All through my simple and extremely short life I've met a whole lot of people, each different from another and at each point I've felt enough is enough; my small brain won't be able to handle any more! But the world smiles back and says "you've not seen anything yet!". And then I exchange a smile with another stranger and the person is never a stranger again.
But why do I do that without a thought? Why do I so easily welcome people into my life, knowing that even a small tremor in my carefully built world will cause a long term havoc to my being? Why do I trust so easily in spite of all I've seen? And why is it that after it all gets over I still believe in the goodness in people?
I might never be the one to start the conversation, but I've always welcomed the ones that are directed to me with nothing less than the widest smile I could conjure up. Even if for a second I never give it another thought. Who is this person, where did they come from, what they mean to the world, what the world means to them! Because at that moment I just needed an outlet to listen to my rantings, to tell me theirs, and I just don't bother who is standing there ready to be of service! And little do I know that soon after when I start to wish that we had just been 2 strangers never crossing others paths, the damage will be already done.
It's not that I won't do that mistake again. I know I'll step out into the street tomorrow and exchange a smile with yet another person and the cycle starts again. Still for that moment I do wonder why that 'hi' had to ever be exchanged. And that's when I remember a sweet saying "Life never gives you the people you want.. It gives you the people you need.. To teach you, to hurt you, to love you, to confuse you, to mold you and to make you exactly what you ought to be.. The Best!". And I smile. Maybe at this moment I wonder why you were written on my pages, but sooner I would know for sure!