Sunday, January 6, 2013

Somebody's angel

... Sitting in his car sipping a mega size booster juice and talking random non-sense that I normally do while he munched on his nutrition snack, the conversation slowly veered to how we met. Looking at me he smiled and said "My room-mate had just left and I felt I would soon be pushed into the well of depression again. I was scared about what would befell and didnt want to be there once more. And that's when like an angel you entered my life"...

He would never know how much those words meant to me. Like I mostly do when caught unawares with no words to reply( back then I never even used to "awwww"), I gave the widest smile I could with a slight blush seen and left it at that. Years down everytime I recollected that conversation to people, it made me feel good, made me feel special, made me feel awesome about myself. And sitting miles away, ignorant to all this, he had frozen that moment in my life.. forever.

Not everyone can be a Mahatma or a Mother Theresa. I cant even be a good daughter or sister at times needed. But does that mean we do not have a part in this world? That the world wouldn't miss us if we weren't there? Not really. Every portion of our life is filled with small bits of purposes, purposes that even we may not be aware of, things we do even without our own knowledge. We may spend our entire life just passing through and never realize how much of a value we have added.. to that stranger on the road when we smiled at him, to a long-forgotten friend when we suddenly called her, to a struggling colleague when we helped them out, to that granny when we held her hand as she climbed down the stairs. Maybe if you were not there in that moment, someone else would have and that help would anyways be given. But you were chosen to be there, and that mark is made. You become part of the cycle of joy that circulates around, even if just for a short moment, and radiates from the world. For those few seconds at least, the world is a happier place for someone, because you were a part of it.

But sadly we live in a thankless world. Or in most cases those people are just as speechless as I was with a fear to spoil that magical moment with words too plain or inappropriate. But that doesnt mean your deed was forgotten. It just means that even words couldn't explain how much your help meant.

My life has been made up of so many magical moments like that. People just come in and sprinkle miracles as if they were just created for me. Sometimes it makes me feel blessed, but at the end of it I feel guilty.. of not having told them how much more special my life had been because they cared to share their time in it. Of course he called me his angel, but little did he know what I felt about him. In a city far away from home, with not many friends and no one to selflessly help, he was my friend, family, teacher. He drove me around, shopped with me, showed me the city in its brightness and afterwards, made me smile, made me think, made me fight, made me feel at ease in taking control over him, advised me, teased me, cared for me. So much so even I could say "I would have experienced depression way too early. But then like an angel you entered my life".