Sunday, October 21, 2012

Sometimes you need to let go..

It feels heavy and it feels hard, but then you know you did the right thing. Because deep inside despite all the misgivings you know any more of holding would just increase the pain when the inevitable happens. There are moments when you understand that the thing that makes you feel your best and gives you a happiness you never knew before was not meant for you. And by keeping it to yourself you were actually crushing it and ruining it of its own happiness. You were causing it an unbearable pain and in the course causing pain to you too.
Its in moments like this that you see who you really are. The monster living deep inside you who was waiting for the right victim to attack and devour. Its a moment of self-realization, to make you understand a part of yourself, something you see you need to change and work on. Something you would never have known otherwise. You just feel sorry that you had to show it all on the one thing which dared to open up a whole new world to you.
Though now deep inside I wish I could reach out and call it back again, I know I shouldn't. I know it was right to let go. Because it might be numb now, but I've made sure that need not last forever. I can see it living its life of happiness in the future. And that makes me smile.

Tuesday, October 9, 2012


When silence makes up most of the time that actually need conversations, it might not really mean what the world says. Maybe there is something beneath that you are not much aware of. Or maybe you are aware but then think you're acting quite clever by closing your eyes. Being blind never means that the sun doesn't rise every day, the moon doesn't go through its phases, the tides don't ebb and flow. It just means that you don't see them happening and don't know how they are happening, but they are. Ask the blind what they are missing, ask the dumb what they want to say, ask the deaf if they miss hearing the birds chirp. They will all tell you how lucky you are to have all these senses and still so thankless not to use it.
Silence is good, for people who are in meditation, who are solitary and want to be away from the world. What you forget is that with each increasing day of not using God's greatest gift to mankind, you get so used to the quietness around you that you forget the days of directionless banter that actually gave you sanity. You reach a point where you think before you talk because you rarely talk and so when you do you want to make sure it has its importance. And some other time you just hate that silence being disturbed. You like it to stay that way.