I cant believe I tried again. Despite all the misgivings, I still tried. I should have just kept quiet. I would have at least been in the hope that you might have done something if you knew. But no, I had to call. I had to try one last time. I always do it. And I fell flat. It hurts you know. You have no idea how much it hurts. At least you could have tried. You could have lied. A word of comfort. Tell me its okay. Tell me that you would find a solution. Tell me you would work it out. But no. You had to be blunt. At this time. At this moment. When I am so far away and I actually took the pains to call you. When despite trying my best to show you how I feel you still dint notice.
It makes me wonder now. Is it my imagination? Am I just over-hyping the whole thing? Do you really love and care for me the way I think you do? Am I not being a fool trying to sacrifice the rest of my tomorrow because I think I took your yesterday? But did I really take it? Isn't it more like something you were obsessed with and you just dedicated your life for your obsession. Just like any other person would do. You did what you felt you did your best. And then had me believe that it was sacrifice. It all just falls into place. And it looks like this whole big drama. The entire world was acting. Every single person. Because at any point of time humans just need someone to be obsessed over. You just need that contact, any contact. Deep inside each of us want to express our feelings, whether the other person likes it or not, needs it or not. I was one such victim.. and you had me believed that it was love.
I don't think I'd ever forget today. When I thought so much before making that call, when for the past few weeks I've always been staring at the phone and wanting to make that call but restraining myself because I thought it would hurt you. I thought it would hurt you to know I was hurt. But no, you're hurt because I'm defying you, you're hurt because I rebelled. I didn't expect a solution, but then, I didn't expect to be chided. Not that tone, not now. And like that, I understand that tears are useless. Its lost its purpose. Whoever said tears can melt mountains was a fool. Tears do nothing. They just show your weak and give the other person strength to crush you over more. I was born stronger. I was created to do better things. I've done enough of crying. Its been too long of a useless life. I better find a purpose.