Thursday, June 19, 2014

What did I do for you to love me thus?

You forgave me with total disregard to the treatment I meted out to You, You loved me while I was filled with hate, You cared for me when all I could give was apathy, You protected me while I surrounded myself with negligence, You comforted me when all I did was rebel, You yearned for me when what I wanted was separation. But I just kept running, far far away, through long winding tunnels, unknown fields, black waters, till my legs could run no more, till my strength drained me. But the road still kept going on. It just didn't seem to end. And when I looked back, You were still waiting where I left You, arms wide open, ready to embrace me the minute I rushed back, no matter when that was. You were waiting with a smile, which told me it was alright, which had already forgiven me even before I turned to look.
And I turn that foot towards your side, ready to come back, but I see that I've run too far. There are so many stones that have cut my feet, there have been many a thorn which have pierced my veins, pushing their venom deep inside. I want to rush back into Your arms, I want to feel safe in Your embrace again, but this girl who comes back is not the same one who left. So much has changed and I wonder if I would be able to love You the same way again. In the way I believed. That no one could love You as much as I did. But then I don't know if I can ever love anyone as much as I did You. It sometimes seems incredulous, that I could feel so much for someone I had never seen before. But I know I did and I also know its difficult to feel that for someone else again. Not that I want to, but then I regret more that I wont be able to do it for someone who really does deserve it. Will I ever be able to love You the way You did me? Unconditional, unwavering and diligent. Will I ever be able to come back to You, the way I left?