Family Problems

Two men, one American and an Indian were sitting in a bar drinking shot after shot.

The Indian man said to the American, You know my parents are forcing me to get married to this so called homely girl from a village whom I haven't even met once. We call this arranged marriage. I don't want to marry a woman whom I don't love...I told them that openly and now have a hell lot of family problems."

The American said, "Talking about love Marriages...I'll tell you my story. I married a widow whom I deeply loved and dated for 3 years.
"After a couple of years, my father fell in love with my step-daughter and so my father became my son-in-law and I became my father's father-in-law.
My daughter is my mother and my wife my grandmother.
More problems occurred when I had a son. My son is my father's brother and so he my uncle. Situations turned worse when my father had a son.
Now my father's son i.e. my brother is my grandson.
Ultimately, I have become my own grand father and I am my own grandson.

And you say you have family problems..Gimme a break!!"

Money Rules !!

It’s so easy to say that we shouldn’t be money-minded. That money is not everything in the world. Money can buy ‘this’ but not ‘that’ and ‘that’ ends up being more important. But all said and done. There’s no denying the fact that money still rules the world. Every step we take right from when we are born till our death requires money. Money can buy houses but not homes. How many times have we heard this? But then to make a home we first need a house. And here is where money steps in. Everyone wants to be famous for good things and they try their best to show out that money holds no value for them. But its just a miniscule amount of people in this world who can actually give up money and luxury for something. And anyhow my question is why we have to. When we are given the choice of leading a good life and also not feeling for it why does everyone want to go the hard way. Why do you want to shun money when its not necessary. So throw away the goody-goody face and come out to be yourself. The world can’t live without money. Now that’s a fact. Learn to live with it. And please stop blaming money for everything. Even if in a small amount it’s the reason your alive today.

Dog Talk

It’s a common problem seen among all dog owners. Your dog listens well when you say “sit”, “down” and “stay”, but he rarely comes when called, especially if he’s not on a leash. Why is “come” so hard to train? How come he understands the rest but not this?
Teaching your dog to come to you every time is a skill to train like any other. The best way to do this is to start up close. Three times a day, for about two weeks, stand one metre away from your dog and say “Princess, come.” Use a cheerful voice and give her a treat when she gets to you. Make sure you’re close enough that she’s guaranteed to be successful every time. Gradually add distance and distractions. Your call should always mean treats, fun and attention.

Bear your Cross

Whatever your cross, whatever your pain,
there will always be sunshine, after the rain ....
Perhaps you may stumble, perhaps even fall,
But God's always ready,To answer your call ...
He knows every heartache, sees every tear,
A word from His lips, can calm every fear ...
Your sorrows may linger, throughout the night,
But suddenly vanish, in dawn's early light ...
The Savior is waiting, somewhere above,
To give you His grace,and send you His love...
Whatever your cross,whatever your pain,
"God always sends rainbows .... after the rain ... "

To get out of difficulty, one must usually go through it !

Loony Lawsuits

The squeamish should not watch a reality TV show called Fear Factor. Now that’s a fact. With contestants eating worms and fighting crocodiles, it’s best for the faint-hearted to stick to Cartoon Network. Austin Aitken is one such couch potato. And as with consideration to how much his mind could handle he should have stayed on to CN. But then that was not to be and that night in 2005 he tuned into the wrong channel, at the wrong hour and got caught with an episode that was so disgusting, it made him ill. His blood pressure rose and he grew dizzy, causing him to bang his head against the doorway as he fled the room. A $2.5 million payout from the NBC television network will put him on the road to recovery. Or so he thought.

The final verdict: The judge ruled that it was for situations like these that the remote was invented and threw the case off the court.

Bring Home A New Member

Have you decided to bring home a new pet? Here are a few things you need to keep in mind that will help you around:

** Get your puppy a crate for sleep, travel and housebreaking.
** Choose a vet immediately. Ask friends for recommendation.
** Bring a dog to obedience class right away.
** introduce him to lots of people and animals early on. Get him used to sounds (vacuum cleaners) and experiences (car rides).
** Adopt 2 cats-if you can. They do well with a friend.
** If a kitty circles as if she’s looking for something, or races to a corner of the room, show her the litter box. She’ll learn where it is fast.
** Keep an eye on kids and other pets until kitty adjusts.

Remembering A Name !

Names are sometimes so difficult to keep in mind. And they’re not the more hard or long ones. They sometimes are the easy ones. But they land us in situations where we’d rather not find ourselves. But this is not a defect which cannot be rectified. In fact the memory can be trainable in such cases by following some simple rules:

•The first thing is to listen to the name. We’re often so pre-occupied that we don’t actually hear it.

•After hearing the name, spell it in your head, repeating it a few times to ingrain it on your brain.

•If you hear an unusual name, inquire about its origins. The extra info will help make it more unforgettable.

•Repeat the name during your conversation.

•Change the name to something that sounds like it but conjures up an image. The sillier it is, the better it works.

Guy's point of view

Well here's something i got thru mail andn enjoyed reading. Just thot u'll feel the same. So here we get into what runs in the male mind. We always hear “the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. Finally, from the guys, for the guys.

Please note. These are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.

Let us be clear on this one:

->Subtle hints do not work!

->Strong hints do not work!

->Obvious hints do not work!

Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria 's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.

The Money Pit

For 210 years, there’s been talk of buried treasure off Oak Island in north-eastern Canada. According to legend, a trio of local boys found a depression under an oak tree there. Although they failed to unearth treasure, others say they have come across links of a gold chain, tiny pieces of parchment and a stone tablet inscribed with hieroglyphics which read “12 metres below, two million pounds are buried”. In 1971, a video camera was lowered down a shaft, capturing images that resembled a severed hand and portions of a wooden trunk. At about 27 metres, the shaft floods with water, leading some to believe that elaborate tunnels have been built to keep the treasure safe. That hasn’t stopped people from looking: six have died in the process. What are they looking for? Theories include Marie Antoinette’s jewels, the secret stash of Sir Francis Drake or Captain Kidd’s treasure. The mystery lives on.

To a more healthy Life-Yoga

You may have thought Yoga was strictly for mystics. Well, for all of those, a new research has shown that 45 to 55 year olds who regularly practice it are better able to fight “middle aged spread,” while those already overweight are more likely to slim down.
Interestingly few people practice yoga vigorously enough to burn many calories doing it. The study speculates that yoga instead makes you more “body aware” and perhaps teaches you discipline that you can apply in other areas of life. Here are a few tips you need to consider when starting out in your mystic journey:
-> Find an edge where you are challenged but not overwhelmed.

-> Pay more attention to the internal experience than outer performance.

->Try to become more aware of even your small movements.

->Note what you are saying to yourself as you practice.